Shared Parental Leave Is Definitely In Its Infancy.

Shared Parental Leave has been getting a lot of media coverage again. Reading by YOU THE DADDY entitled ‘Why dads aren’t taking up shared parental leave (but why we all should)’ has made me think back to last year when I have my experience of it. Which always leads on to thinking about the reasons why more dads don’t take advantage of this fantastic opportunity.

Juggling a baby and a toddler (as they were then) wasn’t easy, and it’s true to say there were some hellish days. Equally as frustrating was the immense pressure of self-judgement: my annoyance when I’d catch myself looking at my phone for a few minutes rather than playing with the girls, or for failing to do any laundry, or running out of milk, or not having the energy to make a healthy tea. Those things and much more really did dominate my thoughts throughout those four months. It was not a stress-free time.

So, looking back, would I really want to do it again?

The answer is a resounding yes. The frustrating days were overwhelmingly outnumbered by the wonderful ones. I got to know Robyn so much more than previous because of my wife being on maternity and me being at work, cramming in the overtime to help with the finances. I cared for her as she grew from a five-month-old who could do nothing more than lay on her back and cry to a nine-month-old who could laugh, crawl. I had some precious moments with both children, as well as with my own parents, sister and nephew.

One of the most important things I did learn was that Shared Parental Leave is definitely in its infancy!

While Shared Parental Leave is a good step in the right direction, for many, it’s still the unknown, with employees still sketchy on the detail. But, do Dads really know what they’re entitled too and is the company they work for forthcoming with that information? I am in a very fortunate position where the company I work for has that information completely accessible on the colleague website but only if you know where to look for it. Again, I am aware of what entitlements people do and do not have because I am ex-management but if I didn’t have that knowledge I wouldn’t know where to go or who to ask. A government assessment suggested 285,000 working fathers would be eligible to take the leave, but only 2% to 8% would do so. This compares with about nine in 10 fathers in Sweden and Norway, where between 80% and 100% of their earnings are replaced while they are on leave.

So is it the lack of awareness why after almost 3 years of SPL being introduced, there is still only a small number of dads taking the time they’re entitled too or is it something else? From speaking to some of the dads that I know, concerns over career progression were a factor for many, with half of them saying they thought taking leave would be perceived negatively at work and after questioning some mums, some didn’t want to share their leave. Are some men still made to feel like it’s their duty to go out and earn the money, despite having this option to stay at home with our children?

For some, pay played a key factor in the decision to take SPL, 80% of employees surveyed said a decision to share leave would depend on finances and whether their employer paid more than obliged to. For those who aren’t aware, statutory pay set at a maximum of £139.58 a week or 90% of your average earnings (whichever one lower). I was in the incredible position where I was around the same as I would earn working 3 days a week so pay didn’t really affect us but I can see from those numbers why Dads just aren’t taking the time. Are companies and employers doing enough though?

What do I think?

I’m a great supporter of dads taking time off for their kids and this initial negativity is disappointing. What employers need to realise is the positive impact it will have on them. Yes, you’ll be out of the office for a few months (a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things) but once back, this will soon be forgotten and you’re likely to make a more engaged and motivated team. Above all that, I’d like to think that my children have benefited from having me at home 100% of the time.


Credit for the Illustration goes to the very talented Naomi Dawson at

For now, however, I am back to having a ‘proper job’ on the side of my true vocation of being a stay-at-home dad.

Categories: Dad, SAHD & Parenting

9 replies

  1. My husband and I did the whole Shared Parental Leave – twice. It worked for us because I was earning more than him so having me go back to work early meant we didn’t have to have such a dent in our finances. Plus at the time, I loved my job and he wasn’t overly keen. And the timing of it meant that he could avoid the most horrible job of the year!

    I think there is still a lack of awareness out there. Even in our office some of the older ones still don’t consider that a man can take time off as parental leave. But attitudes are shifting. The other thing is as well, it makes the workplace an even playing field. I know employers shouldn’t discriminate based on gender but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. With SPL it means that there’s just as much chance that a man will require parental leave as a woman.

    Would we do it again – yes we would. He absolutely loved his time at home with the girls – much more than I did


  2. I work in HR and I know of only 1 person who has taken shared parental leave up. So much of the average workplace is geared up against it, whether it be women earning less than men, attitudes of management, career progression, companies not being able to top up the statutory amounts. I would take it in a flash if it was viable for us.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I have never done shared parental leave mainly because I’m self employed of which there is no government help really interesting post Thank you for linking to #Thatfridaylinky please come back next week

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Shared parental leave sounds like a great idea. Thanks for joining in with #ThatFridayLinky

    Liked by 1 person

  5. We have four children (all girls but that’s another story!). SML wasn’t an option when we had ours but I remember paternity leave being quite new at the time. I took my allowed two weeks plus a couple of week holiday with each of them. My employers were okay about it – just okay nothing more! Even then I can remember the paternity leave causing financial pressure as I was by far the main earner in our house. Looking back at our circumstances I’m not sure SML would have worked for us at all, although I love the idea of it and think that as it matures it will become the norm.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hi, I think shared parental leave can work for some but not all families. It’s a great idea and let’s hipe that more families can use it #thatfridaylinky

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Thank you for linking to #Thatfridaylinky please come back next week Popping back

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I was fortunate to be able to take two weeks after my wife went back to work to have my own early bonding time, but it would have been great to be able to take more, especially in those early days when she could have used the help. #thatfridaylinky

    Liked by 1 person


  1. Dad Blog Posts of the Week - 16th March 2018 - Bringing Home The Baby

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