Why Are Women Still Doing Most Of The Housework?

I am sad to say it that I am still hearing that Mums are still doing the vast majority of the day-to-day household chores and focusing more on child care while Dads are spending more time relaxing. This is despite the fact that in some cases, both parties are holding down jobs.

Our family works a little differently, whereby Rachel is the main breadwinner and works full time and I am the stay-at-home dad to my two girls and look after the all the day-to-day running of the house. With our family set up in this way, I don’t expect anything from Rachel in terms of domestic duties. I believe that her workload is crazy enough without the added pressures of coming home and being expected to cook, clean and look after the girls. However, if I was working full time too then it would be a completely different story. The day-to-day running of the house would be to shared equally so neither of us felt overwhelmed.

I am, however, hearing more and more that in families where both parents are working, the woman is still doing most of the housework and childcare. Why is that? Is it the man’s fault for not stepping up to the mark when he’s needed or the woman’s fault for not making him aware that he needs to help out more? I believe it’s a little bit of both.


| Men ‘should pull weight more’

Let me make something clear from the beginning, I do not believe it’s a ‘generation thing.’ For the simple reason my Grandad was very domesticated. He did the vast majority of the cooking, cleaning and shopping and that was way back in the day. Maybe it’s were I get my attitude from, who knows? But my Grandad was like that in a time when men didn’t generally do stuff like rhat so it does prove that all men aren’t the same.

I believe in some cases, men are using the excuse of ‘working full time’ as the reason why they’re not picking up their fair share of the household duties, believing that they’re entitled to come home at the end of the day and put their feet up and relax while Mum cook and looks after the kiddies. Even those days she’s gone out and done a full days work too. This kind of thinking is old fashion and outdated in 2018 and goes back to the traditional gender roles of woman’s work and men’s work and that makes me sad. Guys, this isn’t the 1950’s. There’s nothing with coming home after a hard days work and helping out with some chores, even if you’re taking the kids off to play while your other half cracks on with some domestic task, undisturbed. Surely, it’s all about team work, isn’t it?

I guess what I’m trying to say is stop thinking you’re the only one who’s tired: it’s not a competition

However, if you’re getting a way with it then good for you. Girls, it’s completely your fault for allowing this kind of behavior to happen right under your nose and allowing yourselves to be over tired and over worked. I see and hear it all the time: eventually say something but after all the chores have been done and you’re out of energy. I can honestly say, hand on heart that I would not be allowed to get away with not doing anything around the house or look after my girls. I have a very strong, independent woman as a wife who would let me the second I wasn’t pulling my weight. Maybe you should do the same?

When her workload gets crazy I am sure she is thankful for a husband who is good at juggling work and family responsibilities. I’m not saying I’m a domestic God or anything. That’s for other people to decide that but I think I do OK.

Men vs women: It's 2017 - and guess who does more household chores?

I guess I struggle to under the mentality sometimes, as I’m not like that nor was a raised to be like that. I believe in shared responsibility for everything and believe that a man is just as capable of doing domestic chores as a woman is. It’s more a ‘Will’ rather than a ‘Skill’ issue in my view.

Who does must of the chores in your house? Mum, Dad or shared equally? I’d love to know your thoughts.

Categories: Life and Parenting

7 replies

  1. Great article. Being a stay-at-home-dad like you, I do the vast majority of the housework. My wife sometimes cooks on weekends, but I do everything else; being at home for the most of the time, why wouldn’t I?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Totally agree. My wife is also away a lot with work (currently on a 6 week stint), so if I don’t do it, it doesn’t get done! I also want her to have maximum time with the kids when she is at home, so it’s only fair that the domestic chores are taken care of so that she can get some well-earned down-time. That’s not to say she doesn’t pull her weight when she’s around – I honestly don’t know how she manages it though!


  3. Interesting read – here are a few of my thoughts. I work part-time, freelance while my partner works full-time, although our financial contribution to the household is similar. I do pretty much all the housework, DIY and organisation of stuff – and while I agree with you up to a point, that’s fair enough, as I have more time now, I do feel it inhibits my ability to take on more work or go for a full time job. I think much of the issue is that people have different standards of cleanliness and this isn’t allied to gender. I clean up each morning so I have a pleasant workspace with no distractions but if the roles were reversed I think I’d be coming home to a messy kitchen and un-made beds because he just doesn’t care about those things. Also, how do you ‘not allow’ someone to get away without contributing if they’ve decided it’s not important – threaten to leave over un-emptied bins? Read threads on mumsnet and you can see this as a very widespread issue.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s really interesting. But I see it in my own son. he is 12. A great kid but, naturally, he likes mom and dad taking care of all the domestic matters and leaving him time to do what he enjoys doing. All our efforts to get him involved in chores, well, you would have to call it lip-service. He has to be reminded all the time to do the most basic things, like feed the dog he absolutely adores, and bring her out for walks/toilet business. And, as I say, he’s a great kid otherwise. But it seems fairly hard-wired this lack of domesticity in boy kids. I’m not claiming our daughter is way better domestically, but her room is beautifully maintained and she is an excellent baker: not that she bakes much for us!! #ThatFridayLinky


  5. Really interesting read I do most of housework so I guess I’m bucking the trend Thank you for linking to #Thatfridaylinky please come back next week

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Great read! Couldn’t agree more. There’s a lot of research pointing towards the heavy cultural influences that nudge us into these gendered roles (including 12 years of growing up a boy as Endardoo mentions above!). It’s easy to write this off as hardwiring but the evidence is clear, there is very little to suggest the difference attitudes are hardwired, there is sting evidence to show they are cultural.

    The great news is that despite a lifetime of training, and doesn’t take long with the guys being left with the real responsibility for that pattern to switch completely and become more equal, from childcare to stacking the dishes. It just takes real commitment on both sides.

    It’s also something we should role model to our kids. Men can make responsible dads and take the lead on the house is a message kids will only believe when they see it.

    Great post!


    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hopefully some of what your saying will come out in our book when it’s published in the Autumn if you’re interested in this 🙂

    Dads Don’t Babysit: towards equal parenting


    Liked by 1 person

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