I am sad to say it that I am still hearing that Mums are still doing the vast majority of the day-to-day household chores and focusing more on child care while Dads are spending more time relaxing. This is despite the fact that in some cases, both parties are holding down jobs.
Our family works a little differently, whereby Rachel is the main breadwinner and works full time and I am the stay-at-home dad to my two girls and look after the all the day-to-day running of the house. With our family set up in this way, I don’t expect anything from Rachel in terms of domestic duties. I believe that her workload is crazy enough without the added pressures of coming home and being expected to cook, clean and look after the girls. However, if I was working full time too then it would be a completely different story. The day-to-day running of the house would be to shared equally so neither of us felt overwhelmed.
I am, however, hearing more and more that in families where both parents are working, the woman is still doing most of the housework and childcare. Why is that? Is it the man’s fault for not stepping up to the mark when he’s needed or the woman’s fault for not making him aware that he needs to help out more? I believe it’s a little bit of both.
| Men ‘should pull weight more’
Let me make something clear from the beginning, I do not believe it’s a ‘generation thing.’ For the simple reason my Grandad was very domesticated. He did the vast majority of the cooking, cleaning and shopping and that was way back in the day. Maybe it’s were I get my attitude from, who knows? But my Grandad was like that in a time when men didn’t generally do stuff like rhat so it does prove that all men aren’t the same.
I believe in some cases, men are using the excuse of ‘working full time’ as the reason why they’re not picking up their fair share of the household duties, believing that they’re entitled to come home at the end of the day and put their feet up and relax while Mum cook and looks after the kiddies. Even those days she’s gone out and done a full days work too. This kind of thinking is old fashion and outdated in 2018 and goes back to the traditional gender roles of woman’s work and men’s work and that makes me sad. Guys, this isn’t the 1950’s. There’s nothing with coming home after a hard days work and helping out with some chores, even if you’re taking the kids off to play while your other half cracks on with some domestic task, undisturbed. Surely, it’s all about team work, isn’t it?
I guess what I’m trying to say is stop thinking you’re the only one who’s tired: it’s not a competition
However, if you’re getting a way with it then good for you. Girls, it’s completely your fault for allowing this kind of behavior to happen right under your nose and allowing yourselves to be over tired and over worked. I see and hear it all the time: eventually say something but after all the chores have been done and you’re out of energy. I can honestly say, hand on heart that I would not be allowed to get away with not doing anything around the house or look after my girls. I have a very strong, independent woman as a wife who would let me the second I wasn’t pulling my weight. Maybe you should do the same?
When her workload gets crazy I am sure she is thankful for a husband who is good at juggling work and family responsibilities. I’m not saying I’m a domestic God or anything. That’s for other people to decide that but I think I do OK.
I guess I struggle to under the mentality sometimes, as I’m not like that nor was a raised to be like that. I believe in shared responsibility for everything and believe that a man is just as capable of doing domestic chores as a woman is. It’s more a ‘Will’ rather than a ‘Skill’ issue in my view.
Who does must of the chores in your house? Mum, Dad or shared equally? I’d love to know your thoughts.
Categories: Life and Parenting