Have I Been Suffering From #DadGuilt?

| Let me just finish this and I’ll play

I’ve heard the phrase #MumGuilt a lot around the internet and I’ve read several blog posts on the subject but I’ve never really understood it, until now. I’m here to admit to you that ‘I’m a dad and I have #DadGuilt. Actually, should I be calling it #ParentGuilt? We are living in 2018 after all.

Looking at what we’ve got going on in our life at the moment, it’s quite clear that we have a lot of plates spinning and all our time is going into making sure known of them stop. I’ve come to realise however, now that we are run our business from what use to be our dining room, my parental guilt has been kicked in to overdrive.

In a 24 hour period we have to find the time to have a job each (OK, so mine is only a few hours a week but it’s still a factor), looking after the needs of the girls, two dogs, attempting to write a blog and do the normal life stuff too. All of this isn’t including anything else that might happen.

Like I said earlier my dad guilt has really kicked in since we added running a business from home into the mix. We’ve been running the business from home for just under a year now and it’s only really took off in the last six months and one of the things that proving the most difficult is to find the time to fit everything else in. Even though everything else has always been there, they’ve quite literally been tossed aside. This includes less quality time as a family

What must it look like from the girls point of view? They see Mummy or Daddy there but we’re not spending time with them or when we’re out running errands instead of being at the park, going swimming or visiting our favourite trampoline park. Olivia is at an age were she knows what Mummy and Daddy have to work but she doesn’t really understand why yet.

| Is this why I’ve been spoiling my kids?

For those who follow me on Instagram will have seen that one of Olivia’s new favourite toy is her L.O.L dolls and over the course of the summer her collection has exploded. We’ve gone from one to over ten and that’s not including her pet collection. Normally the girls don’t really get bought that much between Christmas and birthdays because we wanted to rise them to believe that you can’t always get what you want, when you want it. You have to work hard to get it/ achieve it. So for her to go from what, to getting one a couple of times a week, no wonder she’s grinning from ear to ear.

I’m going to lie, the look on her face when she does get a new addition is brilliant and she hasn’t played with anything else for weeks so, I guess it’s worth it a little bit.

Plus, we both work incredible hard for everything we have so why shouldn’t we spoil them and ourselves from time to time. Money is meant to be spent not saved, right?

I’m not saying for one minute that going out to work full time would be any easier. I imagine you would feel just as guilty for leaving them all day and not being there. I’ve been an at-home parent for three and a half years now I honestly can’t remember what it that’s like. All I’m saying is, being there and not being able to do the fun stuff is hard too.

I know what you’re thinking? I should consider myself lucky because I get spend far more time with them than most dads and you’re probably right. However, this doesn’t stop me from feeling rubbish every time I have to break off from playing with them to take care of something or from feeling crap every time to have run an errand that’s less than fun. Our decision to run the business from home is our own choice and if things keep going in the direction they’re, we’ll both be doing it full time in the not to distant future. So I guess I’m going to have to get use to this feeling.

I’ve come to the understanding that this feeling of guilt isn’t going to go away anytime soon and yes, I do beat myself up about it some days. I do this simply because I read a lot of quote which say ‘your kids don’t need money, they need you.’ Which is only partly true i suppose. I guess the only thing I can do is look at the bigger picture and try to manage my week to the best of my ability. I wrote a post earlier this year about thinking differently about work/ life balance. Maybe I should listen to my own advice?

I guess I should go a little easier on myself and take some confidence in the fact that it’s all for the greater good. The time we do spend together as a family is amazing and If I’m honest I do manage to take the girls swimming or trampolining through the week. It’s just not as offered as I’d like. If you follow me on Instagram you’ll know this to be true.

I’m just not sure how to explain ‘the greater good’ to a three and a one year old.

Have you ever felt Parental Guilt? What makes you feel it the most? How do you manage it? Let me know in the comments below



Categories: Life and Parenting

3 replies

  1. It is only guilt if you let it be guilt. Otherwise, it can be a blessing to your kiddos. #thatfridaylinky

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I can very much relate to this but I think that as long as we still make some time to be together each week and when we are having family time we are 100 per cent there, then that really means something to the kids. Yes, our kids do value spending time with us more than money but at the same time if we do not have money then they would not have a roof over their heads or food in their bellies so it is a very thin line! Just try not to be so hard on yourself as the fact that you are experiencing parental guilt shows that you must be a very caring and loving parent #ThatFridayLinky

    Liked by 1 person

  3. something that we all struggle with daily, I think. I’ve come to realize that no matter what I do, there is a way to spin it negatively if I allow myself to fall down that hole. Not saying I don’t still do it, it’s just helpful to remember that no matter what is going on, I’m doing the best I can – the same as you are man. #thatfridaylinky

    Liked by 1 person

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